Roots

What are roots? Why are so many people so interested in learning about their family tree? Why do people love to know the history of their ancestors? Why is it so interesting? What is family?

I was adopted.

I adopted my family tree and inherited my ethnicity - Irish and German. I could pull off the Irish because I have red hair. I never thought about my actual ethnicity or my actual family tree for 35 years or so. This isn't something that can be described in a paragraph or two. It's too sacred a topic and so personal. I loved my adoptive parents and family. I will suffice it to say that I received my first information in 1997 when I learned my birth parents' names and that my birthfather was Russian.

Russian!!! Cool! I now stood a bit taller. Perhaps more grounded and connected in the world. And I paused ... I needed to integrate this...

So two years later, I decided to look for my birthmother. Many, many amazing moments and experiences... too many to share. I found and talked to my birthmother in 1999, but we did not meet. I talked with her a few times and that was it. She told me that she was Scotish and that I had two half brothers and one half sister. She never told anyone about my adoption that occurred when she was young. I got it. And I paused...

In 2010, I realized that Facebook was common and perhaps my half siblings had a presence on FB. I found them. So interesting to see them. Honoring my birthmother's feelings, I did not reach out. I thought I might have found my birthfather and that he may have just recently died. There may be half siblings on my birthfather's side as well. And I paused again...

In 2021, I was innocently hiking with a friend and my adoption came up in conversation. I had honestly not thought about it in many years. Now, I was starting to feel a pull.... a pull to reach out in some way. I wonder if my birthmother was still alive? She'd be about 79 years old. Searching for public death records, I did not find her and convinced myself she was still alive. I rediscovered my half siblings on Facebook. But what is pulling me? What is my intention???

And I paused...